Copyright The Times (090925)
It took me a decade to get a book published.
“But you’re already a writer,” people say when I confess this. “Why did it take so long?”
I tell them it’s because publishing fiction is very difficult. And that just because you’re a journalist doesn’t mean you’re any good at writing novels. And also! It is a crowded market! Publishers are increasingly picky! So it wasn’t me, it was them.
But I now admit that it may also have been me. I possibly made some mistakes along the way, which delayed things a bit. Sometimes I stare out of the window, drum my fingers and make a mental list of all the things I wish I’d known before I had so much as opened a Word document and written “Chapter One”.
Here is that list.
1 Understand this key fact: no one wants your novel
It’s not personal. The invention of modern word processing and email has made writing and submitting a novel very easy. And the extraordinary success of writers such as JK Rowling and Lee Child has made people think that simply publishing any old novel means total life satisfaction plus loads of money. Lockdown turbocharged this. Therefore, everyone who works in publishing lives in a state of terror at the avalanche of unsolicited fiction manuscripts billowing through their laptops. Know this: they are not excited. They’re not drumming their fingers on their desk thinking: “When, oh when will someone send me a debut fiction manuscript?” They’re wondering if it’s OK to just Ctrl+A+Del their entire inbox. Some agents write on their websites: “Unsolicited manuscripts will be deleted, unread.”
2 If you’re still reading this, congratulations!
You’ve passed the first test of any debut novelist, which is to keep going in the face of a total lack of interest in your creative work. Getting fiction published is 90 per cent carrying on despite no financial reward, repeated rejection and the worst of the worst: ghostings. People tell that story about how Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone was rejected by 14 publishers as if that’s a lot of publishers. My first novel was rejected by 28 publishers before finding an editor, and I spentthe decade before that being turned down, not always kindly. I was being told, “No. Go away,” so many times I thought I was going to go mad. And then I wondered if I’d actually gone mad, and that’s why I kept writing fiction that no one wanted.
My first novel was rejected by 28 publishers
3 You have no idea how to write a novel, and that’s fine
This is the big one. I spent probably six of those ten years in the wilderness hacking away at fiction, wondering why it didn’t “work”. Answer: because writing fiction is not instinctive, like sneezing, it’s a thing you have to learn to do, like driving. You need to know how to make a novel work before you start writing or you’ll hit a brick wall at 30,000 words or 50,000 words. The good news is that expensive creative writing courses are not the only answer. Only do one of these if you are accepted onto a famous one, such as NYU, Curtis Brown, Faber, Goldsmiths or that one at East Anglia that Ian McEwan made famous. Be very wary of others, which are often run by failed novelists turned sadists.
You can learn everything about novel-writing from how-to books. It’s not cheating. There are rules to writing fiction and you need to know what they are, even if you choose to ignore them. The best novelists, from John Steinbeck to Donna Tartt, are the ones who most deftly disguise the classic fiction framework their work hangs on. Go on Amazon and pick at least three how-to-write-a-novel books, then read them all and take notes.
Huge advances can be a curse: the pressure to sell your book rockets to dizzying heights
4 Be extremely careful who you show your work-in-progress to
Your friends and family will not tell you the truth, because they’re not stupid. Are they really going to tell you what you’ve written is drivel? They also, by the way, have no idea (unless your brother-in-law is Richard Osman) what agents are looking for. You need to exercise caution when it comes to who you tell you’re writing a novel. People you’d normally consider to be friends can be surprisingly unsupportive: they may find it pretentious or threatening. You don’t need that negative energy.
5 You’ll have to write at least one complete manuscript that never goes anywhere
I think JoJo Moyes wrote two. I have written three novels that will never be read by anyone. That’s 240,000 words that will languish in darkness — and that’s not counting huge sections of my published novel that were discarded because of rewrites. It isquite normal for the work that you finally manage to sell to be the one where you thought: “If this one doesn’t work, I’m giving up.” If you can’t cope with that prospect then please, do not be a novelist. Live a happy life doing something else.
6 There’s no money in writing fiction
A £4,000 advance for debut fiction is common, and 15 per cent of that will go to your agent. But don’t despair, because huge advances can be a curse: the pressure to sell your book rockets to dizzying heights and everyone will know you had a massive advance and be snippy about it. A tiny fraction of novelists make a profit and the rest of us do it because we’re unable to stop. It feels like a punishment dished out by ancient gods: cursed endlessly to write fiction that gets so-so reviews and sells 423 copies.
7 There is no praise in fiction writing
If you are writing a novel with the expectation of praise, stop right there, amigo. You will never, ever get the praise you want, or think you are owed. Or even genuinely deserve! If some praise does come along, it won’t be enough, or you will think, they are just being polite. When you submit your novel, no editor will say, “Wow, you wrote an actual whole novel, that’s amazing!” because this is the eighth debut novel they’ve seen before lunch.
There will be many polite brush-offs. (“I’m sure I’ll be kicking myself when this is a bestseller!”) There will also be cruel knock-backs, eg “I couldn’t get past page three.” If you actually get published, God help you. People are never more cruel than when sticking it to a book they didn’t enjoy. The only motivation to write fiction ought to be because you can’t not. See point six.
8 Write a fashionable book
Write the most fashionable, trendy book you personally possibly can. My debut novel, about a woman who has to look after her niece for a summer, was the most modernsounding book that I could conjure — and that is the one that sold. Whether it’s romantasy, cosy crime or a Colleen Hoover rip-off, go for it. The only caveat is that you need to genuinely enjoy reading those kinds of books. If you try to cynically “bash out” a genre novel it won’t work.
9 Publishing is a business
The people working in publishing may like to use all sorts of words like “compelling”, “beautiful”, “moving”, but let’s get real: publishing is about money and success. Your feelings, as a writer, are not high on anyone’s list.
If you’re a debut novelist you’re off the priority list entirely and on the floor, being kicked about with all the fag butts and bottle caps. Try not to take it personally. Or at least try not to bear a grudge.
Esther Walker’s debut novel, Well, This Is Awkward (Bedford Square £16.99), will be published on September 11. To order a copy go to timesbookshop.co.uk or call 020 3176 2935. Free UK standard P&P on online orders over £25. Special discount available for Times+ members
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